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From Hookup To Happily Ever After

How To Turn A Casual Fling into Something More

Most people associate hooking up with a casual encounter that doesn’t lead to anything more, but what if you’d like to see where it could go? There’s no rulebook that says a one-night stand or casual fling can’t develop into a relationship with a fairy-tale ending. Follow the advice below and you’ll be much more likely to make something out of your hookup.

Ask Yourself Why You Hooked Up in the First Place
Did you just meet this person or is this an old friend who you’ve had a romp with? Did too many drinks lead to this encounter or have you been interested in connecting with someone lately? In order to see if something more can develop, you need to look at the situation objectively and try to determine both your and the other person’s motives.

This initial step begins with you. If this was only about satisfying your physical desires then you may find it difficult to take this thing to the next step. That’s because, in this case, it’s more about sex than any other type of connection.

If this was about your need for something else, like companionship or an emotional need, then you may be on to something. This suggests that you chose this person based on something that is more likely to last over time. Now, you should find out what the other person’s motives may have been. That means having a conversation.

This step will probably be a lot easier if you have a history with this person. The lines of communication will be stronger between you and this gives you the opportunity to ask how they feel about what happened. There’s no reason why things should change just because the two of you have hooked up. Simply communicate the way you typically would and find out what’s on their mind. If you show them that you are comfortable talking about what’s going on, then they will be more likely to open up.

If you don’t know this person, you should still be sure to try to find out how they feel. You may take a less direct approach, like a simple text message that asks if they’d like to meet for a drink. Gauge their response to simple communication before you start talking about how they feel and whether they’ve found your underwear yet. You’ll be able to find out pretty quickly if they want to take things further.

Moving Forward
Now you have the chance to spend time with this person and find out how compatible the two of you are. You get the chance to go on dates and watch movies and do all of the things that two people who are interested in each other would. Here are some tips to make the most of this next phase.

Be Yourself
No matter what, you want to let the real you shine through. If you have an ironic sense of humor, don’t hide it because you’re afraid it will be a turn-off. The trick to finding out whether the two of you will hit it off over the long-term is to be yourself. If you find the other person trying to change who you are, this probably isn’t a good match.

Spend Time With the Lights On
Hooking up is great, but you can’t get to know each other if that’s all you do. You should take this time to get to know the other person on a deeper level and share things about yourself that you find important.

Be Prepared for Things to Go Either Way
If you find that things aren’t clicking, you should be prepared to throw in the towel without becoming crushed. You may be really into this person but if it isn’t meant to be right now, you just can’t force it. On the other hand, if the two of you are a good match then things will progress naturally. You’ll spend time together, be more affectionate with each other and (gasp) may even fall in love over time. You should prepare yourself mentally for the emotional impact of either eventuality.

Create a Healthy Relationship
A healthy relationship is based on several different factors, like trust, respect and an emotional commitment to another individual. Hooking up is usually a casual affair, while getting into a relationship can be complex and take work. Both you and the other person will need to be prepared to make compromises to make this work before you ride off into the sunset.

It’s true: you can take a hookup and turn it into something more. It takes communication and commitment (and probably monogamy) but you can turn this one-time deal into a real relationship that lasts.

Hooking Up 101

Create a Great Profile
You would be surprised how many guys try to meet girls online with a horrible profile. This shuts down their chances before they even get started! If you want to hook up online then you need to present yourself in the most attractive light you can…and that starts with a great profile. Follow these tips and tricks and you will be much more likely to build a profile that attracts quality women.

Be Confident
Confidence is the number one trait that women typically list when you ask them what they want in a man. You may be a shy guy but you need to play up your confidence on your profile. This doesn’t mean you need to have a picture of you with your shirt off or driving a sports car (although it doesn’t necessarily hurt to do this.) Confidence is about how you project the positive aspects of your personality. To do this, list your positive attributes and your achievements in a way that shows you are proud of them.

List Things You Are Looking For
Lots of guys make the mistake of begging the girl to approve of their personality type. Instead, you should flip things and have these girls looking to meet YOUR criteria. Be specific and list traits that you look for in girls, including:

  • Education
  • Hobbies
  • Body Types
  • Hair Colors

If you list what you are looking for then you will come off as a guy who knows what he wants, not a desperate loser who will take what he can get.

Use the Right Photos
Your profile photographs should present you in the best light, but this isn’t necessarily about your looks. Most girls look for other indicators of value like friends, how you dress and your facial expression. That last one is important, because “duck-faced douche” is pretty much out of style. Photos of you on the beach with rippling abs are fine, but pictures of you with other attractive girls is much more effective. This is because girls are hard-wired to be attracted to guys who are proven to be attractive to OTHER girls.

If you have any photos of you wearing a nice suit or a tuxedo, include those for sure. Women love seeing a guy in a uniform because it shows he is well put together and can look good in a formal setting. Even if all they want to do is have a drink and get naked, girls will subconsciously be more attracted to a guy in a suit.

Finally, when it comes to photos, leave pictures of your junk out of the picture. Some girls may like it but the overwhelming majority of them will find it creepy.

Build a Fantasy
Women are attracted to an image that they create in their mind. As long as you have something in common with this image, then you’ll be in good shape. Common personality types that get girls going include:

  • The Loner
  • The Bad Boy
  • The Professional
  • The Artist
  • The Intellectual
  • The Star
  • The Manly Man

Choose one of these types and play up aspects of your personality that fit the bill. For example, an Artistic type may include photos of him playing the guitar. The Bad Boy might include pictures from his last MMA fight. The closer you match a girl’s ideal type, the more likely you will be to hook up with her.

Include a Bit of Game
We’re not talking about big fluffy hats and eyeliner here. Real online game will simply play up your creative and clever personality and make girls want to come on to you. Girls love guys with a sense of humor and they also want to know they are going after a guy who isn’t a complete dud. Make your profile interesting but try to have a little cockiness to your tone. Finally, avoid cheesy pick-up lines like the plague.

Add Just the Right Amount of Sexual Details
If this is a true hookup site then these women are going to be just as interested in sex as you are. It can definitely work in your favor if you include a few key details, but try not to be overtly pornographic. Instead of saying you like girls who can deep throat, say that you like to be in charge and are looking for a girl who can keep up in bed. If you are a dominant personality who is in to BDSM, this can be perfectly fine to include. The point is to make your sexual details sound alluring.

If you follow these tips you will be able to build a much more attractive profile that is likely to get you laid much quicker. Remember, you want to emphasize the aspects of your personality that are attractive without appearing like you are desperate to market yourself. The best profiles will make girls want to contact you and find out more.